Adulthood

 With the possible exception of the Peter Pans in Austin (and other cities that wish they were as restlessly youthful and strange), everyone does grow up eventually.

Or rather, all people who live long enough enter adulthood do. The strangeness of it is something all the Chaim Potoks and Irene Hunt protagonists and Cassie Logans and Ramona Quimbys and Pi Patels and Jo Marches of the world still can't quite get across. They "came of age," but we don't spend too much time reflecting on the strangeness that is realizing you have entered that world of adulthood in which others see you as and expect you to be more responsible, resilient, prepared, and able than you were a few years before by the simple merit of time. 

It struck me at some point post-high school, with a considerable shock, that the adult world was populated by people who, like me, won that position of power simply by being alive. And that I had somehow crossed over to the other side, now sitting in the judge's seat as younger minds sought validation, answers, and recognition. 

Age and aging are strange that way. After the long procession of school years, the impossibly eternal summers, the drawn out moments of definition in childhood -- in the seeming blink of an eye goes by a year, two, and suddenly whole small people, who weren't there before, are. 

And yet, a moment before one small person existed seems thoroughly accessible, as though one could reach through the layered curtains of years to 'only yesterday' and grab that moment back. That was so fun when we all went out to that... how long ago? Oh! 

And a three year old newer than the memory stares you in the face. And you realize, this whole person's life, their world, the parts of yours wrapped up in theirs, all happened after that moment, not so long ago. And soon, theirs too will start blinking by, and they will reach back past the threshold of memory beyond the young people who enter their own worlds. 

And so it goes on, and so we continue to become adults, and for whatever it's worth, our living past childhood will warrant us some degree of status or curiosity to those who will come after. 

But let me tell you this secret, my young friends. When you are big, it does not suddenly make sense, or become more clear, or provide you with the perceived security you may have observed in very confident adults. 

In truth, we're all just muddling through the best we can. Of course adults aren't children anymore. We're much too old for that. But any of us worth our salt will tell you straight, there is no magic to adulthood. It's all just a game of trial and error. Yes, we've had a longer time to try out certain combinations of things, certainly more errors to learn from, but that's about it. 

All the ambient magic is in that first part. So make sure to stuff your pockets full of it while you can. It will come in handy when you look around and realize that you need it to start making magic of your own.